Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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