you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
