Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
