Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
