no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
