I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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