Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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