I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
