she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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