you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
