I love black thongs
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
