they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
