Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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