whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
