It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
