So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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