trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
