You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
