I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
