you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
