would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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