I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
