Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
