chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize