THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
