I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
