Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
