I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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