There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
