You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
