All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
