ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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