her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
