I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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