Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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