Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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