I just pynch a tree in the face
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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