How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
