i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
