I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i've created a new STD.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
