thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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