ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
