i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
