Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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