I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
