He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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