she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
