If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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