If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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