Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
