did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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