dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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