he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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