I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
