So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
