Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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