Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
