Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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