Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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