I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
