you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
